Some Great Advice For The Recently Divorced Woman

Ladies, ever feel overwhelmed because life as you know it has come to an end due to a recent divorce? Do You find yourself getting highly frustrated because your children are looking to you to transition their lives smoothly while your ex is being a complete donkey during the entire process? Not to mention the financial impact that starts to consume you as a result of this devastating life change!

Well have no fear, Alison Patton, contributor to HuffingtonPost.com, is here with some great advice!

In her “What Smart Women Do After Divorce” article, Ms. Patton shares five excellent points of wisdom for the divorcing woman.

1.  No More “Woe Is Me” (ideally after the first year):  Smart women make that mental shift from victim to survivor, and they take the necessary steps to get there fully.

2.  Accept the Economic Reality of Divorce:   The smartest women come to terms with the reduced lifestyle they have after divorce. They reaffirm their priorities or commit to changing their lifestyle. They do not rely on their ex-husband as their long-term financial solution, nor do they see “finding another man” as the solution.

3.  Develop a 10-Year Financial Plan:   Smart women take charge of their finances during and after divorce. They hire a financial planner or an accountant to review and organize their finances and map out spending and goals for the next decade. Although daunting at first, this step is immensely empowering.

4.  Repeat After Me: “I Cannot Change My Ex”:   Smart women recognize they can’t change their ex-husband. They pick their battles, they let go of issues that don’t really matter or can’t be changed, and they accept with grace and maturity the general unpleasantness of an ongoing custody share — knowing this is just the reality of divorce.

5.  Focus on the Future, Commit to Growth and Introspection, And Build a Relationship with Yourself:   Smart women channel their energies post-divorce into examining their life, their goals, their mistakes and how they can learn from the past. Instead of jumping into another serious relationship (or spending their time complaining about their ex), they focus on their own life issues. They redefine their priorities and discover what’s meaningful to them. They mature fully into themselves as women whose identity is not tied to the role of mother or wife.

Patton, a family lawyer and mediator, definitely identified some critical steps that women should take when they’re faced with this life-changing issue.  Being that I’ve helped some great friends go through a divorce, it is definitely one of the hardest things a person has to deal with.

But, I’m just waiting for Vanessa Bryant, NBA great Kobe Bryant’s soon-to-be-ex, to drop some real advice on how to get your boo to marry you without a pre-nup and get 75 million dollars of his money in a divorce settlement.  Now that would be some advice for yo’ ass! 🙂

Check out the full advice column here.

Is Kobe Bryant Done With His Cheating Ways

Days after Vanessa Bryant was spotted getting her Valentine’s Day on at the Lakers game last Tuesday lip-wrestling her soon-to-be-ex, it’s being reported that Kobe is trying his darndest to woo her and get her to stop the divorce proceedings. He’s allegedly been buying her expensive gifts over the last three weeks and has even gone so far as to agree to end his cheating ways for good!

Oh OK!

In case you’ve been under a rock, NBA star Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa decided to divorce late last year and it was reported that Vanessa had already received 75 million dollars and three mansions as a part of the divorce settlement. However, the official divorce is not set to be final until this June.

Fast forward to February, it looks like the couple may have been hit by cupid’s arrow and have decided to let love prevail. Well at least Kobe has, I think?!?

I personally think Kobe may have had a reality check when his bank account got a little lighter and realized that the old saying still is true, it’s cheaper to keep her. I know I’d take my act right pills if my boo took 75-million of my slam-dunking-dollars and three of my love palaces! But hey, thats just me!

Whatever the situation is, I do wish them the best no matter how I feel about Kobe and his snitching ways. I always want to see true love win no matter who it is. And if this is meant to be, it will be!

But in case Kobe needs a little help with his begging, here’s a little begging Lenny Williams to help him out…”Cause I Love You…”